10. Because after being bombarded by Charlie Sheen–mania, we just simply can’t stand no more! And, really, did we need THAT much coverage?
9. Because we realize that while Sheen’s firing from Two and a Half Men may hurt the series, the show is in its last days anyway. Besides, is it a top show in Black households?
8. Because we’re no longer laughing at witty uses of Sheen terms like “tiger’s blood” or “Adonis DNA.” Jokes or comments making use of those terms are now D.O.A.
7. Because we don’t want to buy tickets for his My Violent Torpedo of Truth tour. Actually, we saw the best of the Sheen circus via the news/Web anyway. We don’t need the Cirque Du Soleil version.
6. Because yelling the catchphrase “Winning!” has grown beyond tired. File it next to Martin Lawrence’s “You go, girl!” and Jimmie “J.J.” Walker’s “Dyn-o-mite!”
5. Because at the end of the day, we realize the Charlie Sheen debacle is just a fight among the wealthy. Unlike us, these folks are dealing with no parts of recovering from a recession.
4. Because while we enjoyed the distraction, it’s time to get back to reality. Enough said.
3. The earthquake, tsunami and nuclear disaster in Japan. Reality numbero uno (not to mention news-worthy problems in America and around the world).
2. Because recording a song with Snoop is a sheer sign of desperation. And we know Snoop was too nice (literally and figuratively) to decline the offer.
1. Because we ultimately realized that warlocks should just say NO … to drugs. And you should, too.